Telling on myself - my dumbass story

[KRBurke]

So I look at the clock yesterday and see that my lovely wife is snoozing. But it's only 7:30! I figure she's gonna be up by 4:00 going to sleep that early.

Gently I nudge her, softly waking her up with all due care. I say, "Love, you're gonna be up really early if you start sleeping this early."

One eye creeps open and she looks at me.... "You asshole", she says.

I'm a tad befuddled by this. "What do you mean?" I ask.

"It's 7:30 in the MORNING, Kevin. Not at night."

OOOPS. Looks like I fell asleep in my chair...

[Kevin Grey]

"A tad befuddled by this?"

You are giving me gems like that and expecting me to commismerate?

You get befuddled enough trying to change the blades on your disposable razor.

Kevin

ps

A real man would have suggested......."Well since you are up"..................

[KRBurke]

Ha! Yeah, co-mis-mer-ate with me there, bub! Is that anything like commiserate?

Talk about Gems! Don't worry, though, it's not like pearls were cast before swine.

[Aardvark]

I've often wondered: has it ever been attempted, casting the swine first?

[rio]

, classic

[Kevin Grey]

Ha! Yeah, co-mis-mer-ate with me there, bub! Is that anything like commiserate?

Talk about Gems! Don't worry, though, it's not like pearls were cast before swine.

Well duck my sick and call me salty.

Iz you showin sum fight?

I aints got no thyme fer no spewling bee.

This is coming from a guy who can't tell if it is a.m. or p.m.s..

I went and bought a three dollar pair of glasses,
at a flea market and this is the thanks I get.

The guy said they were a dollar more because they were tortoise shell.
I thought he meant the rims.

Kevin

[Mrs_DarkOwl]

Ha, Ha!

[Kevin Grey]

On the serious side.
I have underslept a couple of times.
You wake up full of energy,ready to go like a house on fire.
A quick shower then you sit down for a cup of coffee.
At two thirty in the freaking morning.

What can you do? Go back to bed? Not likely even though,
that burst of energy is deflating faster than a sailors pecker,
five minutes after he hits Madam Woo's house of delight and terror.

Kevin

[stevomiller]

I've often wondered: has it ever been attempted, casting the swine first?

Haha, that would be like making a sow's ear out of a silk purse ~ which, it's been proclaimed, I am skilled at!
KR, you stepped in it with both feet, then promptly put them in your mouth!
We are brothers at heart, tho. I have got up, made coffee for my wife, and gently woken her up :"You'll be late for work hunny, time to get up". With her reply "&uckin' gawdamit, it's my day off, what is the matter with you?! "

[il bruche]

Do you ever fall asleep on a late afternoon and wake up after dark you don't know what god damn day it is?

[KRBurke]

Oh yeah, been there.

[Baron von Smoogle]

Yep, Did that several times. Woke up put on my uniform got ready to head to the hangar and my wife (also a sailor) looking at me weird when I asked her why she wasn't going in to work. Answer - "Cause it's 7:30 PM ya dingbat!"

[WA Martin]

I worked graveyard at a gas station while going to college. I hated during the winter, waking up at 7:30 and not knowing if I was late for school or early for work.